Call Me Holly
by mentalsunflower
Summary: Read the Artemis Fowl Files before viewing! If you wish. ;) Trouble Kelp notices Holly Short her first week on the job, and wills himself to ask the unexpected...(ONE-SHOT FOR NOW...)


**A/N**: I was reading the Artemis Fowl Files, and I realized that Trouble and Holly would make the _cutest_ couple! So that's what this one-shot is about. Trouble is so funny in the Files book. If you haven't read LEPrecon, read it. It's good. And this won't make sense without it.

**PS**: This takes place a week after Holly is invited to the squad – she hasn't done much yet, mind you. Not much at all.

**XXXXX**

Trouble Kelp sighed. He was sitting in his cubicle, gazing at a small mirror that hung from beside his computer. Hey, Trouble was a pretty egotistical guy, and he liked to make sure he looked – and acted his best.

Especially around Holly.

He coughed, tried to flatten down his auburn hair, and gazed into the mirror, trying to plaster on a carefree, 'I'm cool' expression. "Hey there, Holly," He said in a low, and what he hoped, attractive voice. With all that happened, the mirror could have shattered in disgust.

He let out a soft groan, making sure not to disrupt the other hundreds of fairy's that were stuck in cubicles like his own right beside him. _There should be something in the Book about guy's getting nervous about stupid girls_. Trouble thought sullenly, spinning around his leather, wheel-adorned chair uselessly. He closed his hazel eyes and tried to think.

_Holly is never going to fall for me. First of all, she's the only female on the squad, so naturally she'll be sure to keep her distance from guys – probably by order of Root. And Root'll have my head for having anything to do with her. He looked like he wanted to strangle me the day I helped get Holly on the squad. After all, that was only a week ago…_

"She owes me something," Trouble muttered to himself decidedly, just so he didn't seem as dumb. "And I'll be sure to mention it too." With that somewhat comforting thought, Trouble got off his chair, slightly dizzy, and walked slowly down the hall towards Holly's cubicle.

**XXXXX**

Oddly enough, Holly was spinning in her chair as well. She was glad to finally not have something to do that usually ended up being some sort of servant work for Root. She scratched at her nose lazily, watching Gnommish letters fly across the screen of her computer. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine being off on holiday. She imagined basking in the sun, the air full of peace and happiness, being pampered day and night…she needed a day like that. So far her job hadn't been all that exciting…or relaxing.

As if calling to her thoughts, someone knocked on the wall of her cubicle. Holly whirled around in her chair to see Trouble standing there, something like a nervous smile on his somewhat pompous face.

"Oh. Hello Captain Kelp," Holly stated, trying to give him a smile that didn't read 'what in blazes are you doing here?'

"Hello, Short."

"Call me Holly," She said automatically, a little surprised she had given out that order.

"Then you'll call me Trouble," Kelp said, grinning a little and looking at the floor. "Er – well…"

Holly watched him carefully, and felt something jump somewhere around her abdomen. "Is it something Root wants with me?" _Probably to go buy him some more fungus cigars…_Holly thought bitterly, though she also hoped he might have some exciting assignment for her.

"Actually…no."

"No?"

"No."

"Then how come you're here?"

"Well, that's a difficult question to answer…"

Holly could clearly see Trouble was uncomfortable, but that didn't stop her from replying sarcastically,

"Yes, I do suppose it _is_ difficult to answer. Silly me, I guess I expected too much of you."

**XXXXX**

_Ouch, ouch, ouch…_ Trouble thought, now feeling completely flustered. Holly was new on the job, but she was already respected for the smart mouth she had.

"Um. Well. _I_ didn't have a – a final reason to come here, actually."

As freaked out and embarrassed as Trouble was, he was known for keeping a cool, calm, attitude. So he forced himself to live up to his reputation and stand his ground, looking her in the eye and acting casual – he really _should_ take up acting or something in his spare time…

"Oh?" Holly raised an eyebrow questioningly, causing Trouble to snap out of his thoughts and glare at her, annoyed.

"Don't _oh_ me, Holly," he said coldly, role as leader coming back to slam him in the face.

"Call me Short," the young Elf said dryly, turning back to work on her computer. Trouble mentally kicked himself. If it was one thing you don't do, it's make the girl you're about to ask out for dinner angry.

He seated himself in a chair opposite of Holly's, comfortably relaxed and his feet kicked out as far as they could go. He let out a huge sigh, allowing the wisps of red hair to flutter in front of his eyes. He was silent for a while, listening to Holly's fingers clatter away on the keyboard. Trouble could tell she was tense – the way the keys were being slammed down was a clear sign.

And then his brain struck gold.

"You're bored here, aren't you, Short?" Trouble asked carefully, making _sure_ he didn't mess up this time.

No answer. Just more angered clattering.

"I'm pretty close with the Commander – one of his best men, they all say." He gave a smile of satisfaction, hoping in the slightest that Holly was impressed. Too bad he didn't know her. "Now, I think that if you…did me a favor, I could get the Commander to get you about and out of this dreary cubicle."

His statement was answered with more clattering, and he was afraid the girl was going to punch the whole keyboard right through the desk.

"So to cut to the chase, I'll tell Root to send you out into the field if you do me a favor."

More clattering, but this time it was less. Trouble sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and added the last bit that he was sure would catch Holly's attention. "And besides, you owe me."

He was correct in his thoughts. Holly stopped typing and swiveled her chair around. "Oh really?" She asked in sickeningly sweet voice. Trouble nearly winced as her eyes pierced through him, but he stood his ground.

"Really."

"How so?"

"If you remember correctly, at your initiation I gave you another chance."

Holly was silent, and he noticed she was chewing her lip. She remembered all right. He decided to rub it in a bit more.

"Remember, Root was there and he was about to vaporize you, so to say, and I was sitting there after my gallant fight with Turnball, and I told him he couldn't get rid of you after what you had done…"

Holly cut him off. "Yea, yea, I remember," she mumbled, and he noticed she seemed a bit annoyed that he had helped her. Some _lady_.

"You promise to get me out of here?" She asked, looking around the lonely cubicle. Trouble nodded casually.

"I'm sure I can arrange something," he said with a sly smile. Holly couldn't help but give him a small grin back.

"Name your favor."

Trouble sized the girl up, making sure she couldn't destroy him if she was terribly insulted by his question. If she _did_ get angry, he could easily slip through the entry of the cubicle and run while he still had legs.

He closed his eyes briefly, took a deep breath, and said "my favor is that you'll have dinner with me tonight. Strictly business of course. I've got to…teach you the ways of LEP."

There was silence. Trouble was hoping and praying with all his might he had been smart back in Holly's initiation. He remembered vaguely the one thing that had caused him to fall for her: Holly tagging Root multiple times in such a way it left the Commander stunned.

He risked a look up at the Elf girl. She was sitting, hands in her lap, staring at Trouble in a sort of shocked way. He gulped. Okay, he would just stand up slowly, whistle innocently, and run away…

"Sure."

Trouble, who had been planning his escape route, jumped at the sound of her voice, which had been sort of strangled.

**XXXXX**

Holly was, well, surprised. VERY surprised. She didn't know Captain Kelp was going to ask her out to dinner…did that mean this was a date! She had to remember she couldn't date other Recon officers, friends' basis only…

But then she remembered him saying it was a business meeting. That was all. Just…just a business meeting. She couldn't feel anything – no, wait, she didn't _feel_ anything. She _couldn't_.

Right?

She was a little shocked at her answer, but pleased with Trouble's reaction. She rarely saw the Captain flustered, but when he was, like now, it was quite a sight to behold.

He stood up, nervously twiddling his thumbs. His eyes were downcast and his voice was barely above a mumble. "Er – great – I'll see you…?"

"Tonight?" Holly cut in, and she had a feeling she'd be making most of the conversation that evening.

He smiled carefully. "Sure. Um – when do…when do you…?"

"How about six o'clock?" Holly stated again, smiling once more and trying to contain her laughter. Trouble only nodded numbly.

"All right. Where…?"

"How about that new restaurant across the street?"

Trouble only nodded again. He coughed, was silent for a few seconds, and then seemed to step out of his awkward, numb phase and back into casual leader mode, ruining all of Holly's fun.

"I'll see you later tonight then, Captain Short," he said, giving her a very subtle wink. Holly couldn't hide the smile growing on her lips.

"Call me Holly."


End file.
